


John Watson's Diary

by thatjohnlock



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Diary/Journal, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pining John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-02 13:05:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2813015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatjohnlock/pseuds/thatjohnlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Quotes from John's Diary:</p><p>"We are rubbish people,<br/>And I’m in love with you."</p><p>"Thanks for just being here, with me."</p><p>"Sherlock, please just notice me the way I notice you.<br/>We’d be happy, I promise."</p><p>This story is made almost entirely of short entries from John's diary, along with scenes of his daily life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Witness

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello!
> 
> Welcome to John's Diary, and ummmm, I'm excited about this!
> 
> JUST A WARNING: There will be smut eventually. It will be horribly written, because I'm bad at that kind of stuff, but it'll happen. I'll put warnings in the chapter notes of which that takes place. 
> 
> Thanks for reading :)

John jumps when he hears motion behind him. He’d honestly thought that Sherlock was out of the flat at this time.

“What are you writing?” Sherlock asks, trying to peer over his flatmate’s shoulder.

“Nothing, nothing!” John jumps up, closing the journal and tucking it under his arm. He watches as Sherlock’s eyes narrow.

“Secrets, John?” Sherlock arches one of his perfect brows. “Keeping things from your _best_ friend?”

“I’m entitled to secrets, just like you are.”

“Yes, but...what is so personal that you’re writing?”

“It’s...a diary.” John feels himself redden at the admittance. Sherlock though, has no physical response. It’s like he’s waiting for more, but John has nothing else to say.

After a few beats of silence Sherlock speaks.

“So...” The detective looks away for a second. “It’s just...?”

“Just what?”

“That’s what I’m wondering.” Sherlock shrugs. “We live together, I witness all of your goings on.”

“Yes, I’m aware.”

“I guess, I’m just confused as to why I can’t read what I already witness.”

“We witness our lives, _very_ differently.” John begins backing towards the door.

“For god’s sake, John.” Sherlock rolls his eyes as John tries to smuggle the item out of the room. “It’s a diary, not a bomb.”

“I know, but-”

“Whatever.” Sherlock waves a hand, dismissing the doctor.

“What do you mean?”

“The conversation is done.” Sherlock says. “You want to be John ‘Secrets’ Watson, so there’s nothing more to discuss.”

“You’re acting like I’m shutting you out or something.”

“Aren’t you?”

“If...you knew, you’d understand.”

“Well, I don’t know, so I don’t understand.”

John bows his head in apology. “I’m sorry, Sherlock.”


	2. Caught

** Day 15 **

 

I'm surprised that this didn't happen  _sooner_ , to be honest

You caught me writing in my diary

I felt like a teenager again...but,

You looked at me in a way that...let me know you felt is if I didn’t trust you

I do, I do. I trust you.

I promise. 

It’s just, you can’t see _this_

You can’t know how I really feel

Even if I told you _everything_ , put it all on the line **right now**...

You’d dismiss it as human error, and dismiss me as a flawed human

And, that would be worse than any rejection I have ever received


	3. Pathetic

**Day 18**

It's funny, I thought that  _maybe_ you'd attempt to read my diary by now

But, you show no signs of having snooped, and you're still grumpy, Sherlock

However, you've lightened up quite a bit

Still sulky, though

 

It's also funny, the reason that I started writing a diary anyway

I started writing the blog, because my therapist said I should document the things that happen to me

And, literally  _nothing_ happened to me...until  **you** happened to me

When that happened, some things just got way too personal to put on the blog,  _for me_ anyway

You're still oblivious as hell... _sigh_

You're such an  _idiot_ , you know that?

 

I've had this diary...for almost a  _year_

But, I only have a few entries because I wrote two, and then dropped it for a long time

I keep going through consistent spells of writing in it a few times a week...

To forgetting it for months on end, but lately...I've been keeping up with it

Are you proud?

 

Why...am I writing these entries to  _you_ , Sherlock?

Am I so pathetic?


	4. Get Well Soon

** Day 39 **

 

You’re sick, with a common cold

Your nose is runny, and I shouldn’t find it adorable

But it’s so pink, and it whistles when you breathe 

And you’re so tired, and miserable

So  _human_

The best part of all, though

Is you’re letting me take care of you

You’ll be better soon


	5. Takeaway

**Day 45**

 

You left the flat today, without warning

Seemingly without reason

But, you returned with takeaway and you suffered through a movie with me

Thanks for just being here, with me


	6. Blue

** Day 77 **

 

I felt blue today, I’m not sure why

I thought a lot of my family, because I don’t have one

But, when you offered to do the dishes...which you never do,

I was reminded that I’m not **alone** , and family is **overrated**  

And I’m just really happy to have you


	7. Drunk

** Day 84 **

 

I got drunk today, and I hated you

I hated you for being perfect

For never having to worry about what anyone felt other than yourself

You are a selfish prick and...

I just want you to notice me

Sherlock, please just notice me the way I notice you

We’d be happy, I promise


	8. Silly

** Day 86 **

 

My sister called, she talked for a long time

And...I just listened

After we talked, I came downstairs to the living room

You were in front of your laptop

When I came into the room, you asked if I’d heard what you said twenty minutes ago

I told you that I’d been upstairs talking to my sister

You rolled your eyes

You then said ‘Silly, John’ and smiled at me

I felt so good then


	9. Everything

** Day 90 **

 

I want to be the hands you run through your curls when you’re frustrated

I want to be the smoke you bring into your lungs

I want to be the smirk you wear when you think you’ve done well

But most of all, I just want to be your everything

...And it angers me that I’m not


	10. Down

** Day 114 **

 

Today, you fell down

For the first time, I saw you stumble

Arms out to catch yourself

A curse on your breath

I thought that maybe I should catch you, that I _could_ before you hit the ground

But, I was too late, you were too fast and you caught yourself

Next time, I’ll be quicker 


	11. Sweets

** Day 122 **

 

Mrs. Hudson is away visiting her sisters

It was your idea to sneak into her flat and eat all of her sweets

We are rubbish people, and **I’m in love with you**


	12. Fruitful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! 
> 
> Chapters 12-26!!

** Day 135**

 

Well, I really trust you Sherlock

Really, I do.

Because, you fiddled with something

Under your microscope for a long time

Then, you came over to me and said ‘Eat this, John’

 

If I valued my life, or didn’t trust you

I would’ve said ‘I am not about to eat your experiment, Sherlock Holmes’ 

But, no. 

I ate it, felt whatever it was burst juices into my mouth,

Contemplated spitting it out, 

Said my prayers, 

Waited for the worst...

 

However, my panic faded as I tasted whatever was in my mouth.

It was a familiar taste. 

Pomegranate, Sherlock. 

You’d given me a pomegranate seed. 

I panicked, for no reason. 

 

_Bloody pomegranate, Sherlock._

You laughed, and laughed

You’d already deduced my panic over _nothing_. 

 

I hate you.

Why the hell were you experimenting with pomegranate anyway?

I hate you...

 

And it wasn’t funny. 

 

...Well, maybe a little.

 


	13. Like to Pretend

** Day 167 **

 

Haven’t made a journal entry in a while...not much going on. 

Just the usual stuff. 

 

My sister has been bugging me to visit her. 

And...for _what_? I have nothing to say to Harry. 

Staying with her for a short while?

That won’t make me have anything to say to her either.

 

You had nothing to say on the matter, 

When I’d brought it up after our case. 

 

I’d like to pretend that it’s because you don’t want me to be away. 

I’m allowed to pretend, aren’t I?


	14. You're Welcome, World

** Day 168 **

 

Mycroft visited today. 

You asked him to play Cluedo, and I wouldn’t let you. 

Don’t pretend that you don’t know why. 

 

Playing it with you alone was hell. 

I wasn’t about to let _two_ Holmes play it _together_. 

 

The world can thank me later. 


	15. Behave

** Day 170 **

 

I’ve been keeping up pretty well with my entries. 

Um, what happened today?

 

Not much. 

 

You made a woman cry on the train today, 

After deducing that she was lonely and eating her feelings. 

I scolded you for that, 

You scolded me for scolding, and Mrs. Hudson scolded us for arguing. 

 

You then left the flat in a huff, 

And when you returned, you reeked of tabacco. 

 

I then proceeded to scold you for smoking. 

Behave, you git. 

 


	16. Shoes

** Day 180 **

 

Exactly ten days I’ve been away from the journal. 

Aw, I’d been doing so well, too. 

 

Yesterday, we had a case of a woman with missing shoes. 

And, it was strange, because...well _shoes_. 

 

You’re the world’s only consulting detective!

Yet, you bloody _refuse_ three murder cases and help a woman find a pair of shoes?

 

We’ve been on this case for 28 hours. 

I want to sleep, you won’t let me. 

 

I hate to admit it, but I _am_  having fun. 

 


	17. You Knew!

** Day 180.5 **

 

The missing shoes lead us to a _serial murderer_...

How?!

 

You _knew_ that they would lead us to him from the _start_! 

But, you didn’t tell me that?? 

 

The case has been solved, and I helped you along the _entire_ way!

Yet, I _still_ don’t understand what the hell the case was about!

 

...

 

You are so smart and so attractive. 

Ok, finally gonna sleep now. 

 


	18. Grow Up

** Day 191 **

 

We went to get our usual takeaway, 

But, you said you felt like trying something new. 

You asked me if I thought it was a good idea or not,

And, what the hell do I care?

 

So, I said ‘sure whatever’ 

Then, you ordered something new.

 

We got back to the flat, you hated it. 

Then, you proceeded to eat half of **my food** ,

And go sulk on the sofa. 

 

You _sulked_ over it. 

Back turned towards me, curled into a ball. 

Are you _even_ a grown man?

 


	19. Forgiven

** Day 192 **

 

Last night,

You said sorry for sulking

You also sat through crap telly with me

You are forgiven. 


	20. Silent Day

** Day 193 **

 

I’ve been making daily entries, good. 

So, today...I don’t know. I’m just feeling down. 

You’ve been having an ‘non-talking’ day. 

You spent all day with prayer hands on the sofa, eyes closed. 

I guess that means you’re in your mind palace. 

I don’t know if I’ve been feeling down because, well, 

Because you’ve been ‘away’ all day

I really don’t think it’s _that_ , 

I’m used to that. 

 

Either way, I think I’ll feel better when you come back. 

I left tea on the coffee table, incase you want it.

 

Come back soon.


	21. Confiscated

** Day 195 **

 

Mrs. Hudson came up to our flat, 

To spend time with me. 

Since Mycroft confiscated you, for unknown reasons. 

 

You’re not answering your texts, neither is your brother. 

You two age me terribly. 


	22. Probably Never

** Day 200 **

 

Yay, two hundred days since I started journaling again!

Granted...I’ve not been journaling all of those days. 

But, hell. It’s _something_. 

 

I can’t believe this year is almost over. 

Greg and I went out for drinks last night. 

And, I got hit on by a _man_ for the first time in a long while. 

 

Lestrade teased me about it, because I blushed like a tomato. 

Or, so he says. I for one thought I played it cool. 

 

I turned the gentleman down though.

Because, I have you, right?

Bullshit. I don’t have you, I’ve _never_ had you. 

Probably never will. 

 

A man can hope, right?


	23. Steamed Dumplings

** Day 203 **

 

It came to my attention that you hadn’t eaten in 2 days.

I shoved four steamed dumplings into your mouth, 

You nearly cried. You are a giant idiot baby.

And, well...I kind of love you. 


	24. Cold Sweats

** Day 214  **

 

I feel like shit. I feel so shitty. 

I’ve got cold sweats, I don’t want to be ill. 

 

You’ve got a case, I want to help. 

Please don’t let me be sick. 

 


	25. Sick

** Day 214.5  **

 

I’m sick as fuck. I’ve vomited three times,

Over the span of one hour. I’m writing this entry, 

From the bathroom floor. 

 

You brought me my journal and said: 

“You might want to document this.”

 

Just because you were right, doesn’t mean I like it. 

However, you also brought me tea. 

 

Thanks for that.


	26. Here with Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posted chapters 12-26 today.  
> I've missed this. This is fun. 
> 
> Want to update again soon, ok, bye <3  
> Thanks for reading
> 
> ~TJL

** Day 214.5+ **

  
  


It’s late at night, you’re supposed to be...

On a case. 

 

But, you texted Lestrade and told him, 

That you’re here with me, 

Because I'm ill.

And, that...

You’re not going anywhere for a couple of hours. 

 

I can barely keep my eyes open, 

I’m exhausted. My body aches. 

 

But, I can’t fall asleep. 

You’re sitting so close to me,

On the sofa. 

You’ve wrapped me up in the throw blanket. 

 

You’re complainging that I’m writing and not resting. 

You tried to look at what I was writing, I swatted you. 

And...I’m a loser for live-action journaling. 

Gonna stop writing now..

...

Ok, I lied. But, I _have_ to ask you this. 

Well, via entry anway.

** Why...is it that you won’t read this journal? **

Anything else, literally _anything_ that you find interesting. 

Something that peaks that childlike curiosity of yours...

You go after it. 

You _have_ to investigate it. 

 

Why not this?

Either you’re secretly ninja-reading it. 

Or, you’ve actually granted me this privacy. 

 

Either way, I’m thoroughly impressed. 

Also...very in love with you. 


End file.
